IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently stayed in a hotel during a business trip. The service was not good and this affected your stay. You want to make a complaint. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In the letter: • Say what was wrong with the service at the hotel • Explain how it affected you during your stay • Suggest what action you would like to the hotel manager to take.

#hotel #business #trip #service #complaint #manager #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear sir, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the service I have encountered an unprofessional waiter.
Last
Linking Words
 weekend, my company organized a travel and stayed at the XiDun hotel. During my stay, I called the front desk to purchase a bottle of milk, and she told me to wait for only 20 minutes. After that, I waited for a total of 50 minutes, but the milk
delivered
Add a missing verb
was delivered
show examples
. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, when I made the second phone call, I even felt the receptionist’s impatient and kept asking me to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 patient for a
while
Linking Words
. I feel very unclear and angry. First of all, my body was a bit uncomfortable and I really needed to drink a cup of hot milk to help me sleep and make tomorrow’s trip better. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 not only affected my planned rest
time
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 affected my mood. Because in my opinion that your hotel’s service lack of
time
Use synonyms
 management and regulations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would like to recommend that you train your staff to behave in a polite manner to customers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and strengthen their
time
Use synonyms
 awareness. I
also
Linking Words
 expect an apology for your employee’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 towards me. Yours sincerely, Xiyue Tang
Submitted by cathyielts22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Be sure to thoroughly check your letter for any grammar or spelling errors, as these can slightly detract from the overall quality of your message.
Task Achievement
While your letter does a good job at explaining the issue and its effects, adding more specific examples or details could enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your complaint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow and coherence between ideas and paragraphs.
Greeting & Closing
You effectively opened and closed your letter, establishing a polite tone and setting the right context for your complaint.
Logical Structure
You organized your letter into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of your complaint, which aids in readability.
Suitable Writing Tone
Your choice of writing tone was suitable for the context of a formal complaint, remaining polite and clear throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: