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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The tables show the amount of
beer
Use synonyms
 and fruit juice consumed per person per
year
Use synonyms
 in countries around the world.
Beer
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 is most popular in Ireland, with the average Irish drinking 155
litres
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 per
year
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. Germany ranks
second
Linking Words
 with 119
litres
Use synonyms
 per person. In fact, the top six countries in terms of consumption of
beer
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 are all European. Australia and The United States come
next
Linking Words
 in seventh and eighth positions, with
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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 and Finland consuming the
least
Correct your spelling
last
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beer
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 of the countries mentioned. Finnish people only
drink
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 an average of 79
litres
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 of
beer
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 a
year
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. The country which consumes
by
Change preposition
apply
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the greatest quantity of fruit juice per capita
is
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in
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 Canada. Canadians
drink
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 an average of 52.6
litres
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 each
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year
Use synonyms
, that’s almost double the consumption of New Zealand, which is placed at the bottom of the table. Another North American country, The United States, come
second
Linking Words
 in the table,
while
Linking Words
 German drinkers are ranked at number three, consuming an average of 38.6
litres
Use synonyms
 annually. Swedes
drink
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 approximately the same quantity of fruit juice as Australians, which is 35.5
litres
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 per
year
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. The Finnish and the British
drink
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 33 and 29.3
litres
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 per
year
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 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beer, year, litres, drink with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
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