IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible, while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #children #years #age
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It is believed by some that
children
 should start gaining knowledge at the earliest
age
 as possible, whilst
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 part of people has a contrary view on that issue, they consider that kids should start their education after turning 7 years. In my opinion, it depends on the
child
 himself and his abilities,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is advised for kids to start going to
school
 at the
age
 of 6-7.
This
 essay will provide arguments for both of these viewpoints on the topic of
child
 education. On the one hand,
children
 tend to quickly catch and remember information well and by sending them to
school
 earlier they will discipline in themselves a lot of new good habits. They have a chance to obtain and develop
such
 skills as sociability, working in teams, openness to experience and others.
Moreover
, in that case,
children
 have an opportunity to graduate from
school
 and go to university earlier.
Thus
, getting
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
 can be beneficial
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent.
On the other hand
, it might be quite stressful and problematic for little kids to adapt to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. Despite
that
Change the determiner
that child
those children
show examples
children
 have a good memory, it does not decline
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that they are too young to store and treat a large amount of information and learn all the material that teachers provide them. Especially, when
educational
Add an article
the educational
an educational
show examples
 system becomes more and more challenging every year. Everything has its time. In conclusion, a question about the
age
 of the
child
 for starting
school
 will always be the field of debate. Every parent will send his
child
 to
school
 whenever they see fit. But as far as I
concerned
Add a missing verb
am concerned
show examples
, widespread and the best
age
 range to start
school
 is 5 to 7 years, neither earlier nor later.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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