Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Other
people
say that in order to achieve the optimum health
of the community it is necessary to establish more recreational facilities that includes
Change the verb form
include
different
kind of Change the article
a different
play grounds
for different kind of Correct your spelling
playgrounds
sports
. On the other hand
, some people
argue that it has a small impact towards health
improvement and other options ah loud
Rephrase
must
also
be taken into consideration. I am going to discuss both sides and I will give my opinion. Numerous sport
facilities Change the noun form
sports
such
as basketball courts, tennis courts, swimming pools and others have a huge contribution in proving one's health
as well as
the whole community. People
can choose which type of sports
they prefer to play and it depends to
the kind of personality they have. For example, a park that has various kinds of Change preposition
on
sports
area
will accommodate Fix the agreement mistake
areas
people
of any age. In this
way, people
are able to exercise and move around. However
, some people
believe that this
measure is not enough, and other options should be considered. One option is to promote health
education and awareness campaign
about sedentary lifestyles. Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
This
can be done through different kinds of media such
as,
radio, television, the internet and other printed materials. Parents and teachers Remove the comma
apply
also
play an important role being
a model to the children in living a healthy lifestyle. Another option is to have healthy food choices in school and office canteens, to discourage Change preposition
in being
people
of
eating junk foods. In my own opinion, Change preposition
from
sports
facilities are a great help to improve one's health
status, however
, it
should be combined with other measures Correct pronoun usage
they
such
as health
awareness and healthy food selection are
the best way. Curbing vices Change the verb form
is
such
as smoking and drinking alcohol will also
raise the optimal health
of the public.Submitted by keila_suelen on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite