Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Other
people
say that in order to achieve the optimum
health
of the community it is necessary to establish more recreational facilities that
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
kind of
play grounds
Correct your spelling
playgrounds
show examples
for different kind of
sports
.
On the other hand
, some
people
argue that it has a small impact towards
health
improvement and other options
ah loud
Rephrase
must
show examples
also
be taken into consideration. I am going to discuss both sides and I will give my opinion. Numerous
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
such
as basketball courts, tennis courts, swimming pools and others have a huge contribution in proving one's
health
as well as
the whole community.
People
can choose which type of
sports
they prefer to play and it depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the kind of personality they have. For example, a park that has various kinds of
sports
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
will accommodate
people
of any age. In
this
way,
people
are able to exercise and move around.
However
, some
people
believe that
this
measure is not enough, and other options should be considered. One option is to promote
health
education and awareness
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
about sedentary lifestyles.
This
can be done through different kinds of media
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
radio, television, the internet and other printed materials. Parents and teachers
also
play an important role
being
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in being
show examples
a model to the children in living a healthy lifestyle. Another option is to have healthy food choices in school and office canteens, to discourage
people
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
eating junk foods. In my own opinion,
sports
facilities are a great help to improve one's
health
status,
however
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should be combined with other measures
such
as
health
awareness and healthy food selection
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the best way. Curbing vices
such
as smoking and drinking alcohol will
also
raise the optimal
health
of the public.
Submitted by keila_suelen on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • chronic diseases
  • preventative care
  • obesity
  • physical activity
  • health initiatives
  • health education campaigns
  • social interaction
  • mental wellbeing
  • motivation
  • accessible venues
  • active lifestyle
  • quality healthcare
  • community hubs
  • multipronged approach
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