The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

In the past,
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities

It seems that community may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in each area on the earth were set in terms of prioritized orders. The higher-level people,the loyal family, have more priority than the lower,the farmer.
In addition
, diversities of society
such
as colours of skin, sexes, and outlook are discriminated against widely, so
such
community would like to do as sexism,racism, and so on have seen so far.
Women
were treated unequally because they were stereotyped as weak, chore people, uneducated people. Human rights and sex equality in the present are taught as well as the position of
women
is prioritized more.
However
, many problems arise.
For example
,children are not raised properly because of lacking time for
wife
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a wife

The noun phrase wife seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. The
women
for now have equality like
men
. They should have the right to do things that fellow are able to do.
For example
, many occupations require only guy employees, as well as the ability of some
women
,
women
are preferable. Many problems are managed better by the
women
due to their thinking and experience. In the several positions, many experts are
women
who drive the company in the directions
such
as scientists, CEOs, singers, writers and so on.  Some always think that the position of woman is only doing chores, raising kids and sewing clothes, the woman things. The sets of thinking are quite obsoleted. Chores or house working are done by everybody in the house, either
men
or
women
. Raising children as the best result is a cooperation between both dad and mom. If kids were taught the only mon , they would not know knowledge from one position.
Women
have the authority to do work and anything else they want. Meanwhile,
men
should help to raise their children.
This
is not the problem of
women
these days. In conclusion, Human rights and sex equality are necessary as the basis of living nowadays. Either
women
or
men
have the right to do anything they want. Sex should not be the limit. The abilities should be determined
instead
. Avoiding raising kids is not the problem of
women
but the problem of society.
Submitted by sahapol.rs on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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