The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

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Investing in art, music, and theatre are seem to be wasted for many

people

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

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and required to be in charge more regarding services of

public

Correct article usage

the public

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. These things are kinds of amusement which humanity

shoud

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should

be taken part

with

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show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will outline the benefit and

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

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of those things.

To begin

Linking Words

with the beneficial effects.

First

Linking Words

, recreation is the crucial part of living parallel to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

working. Arts,

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

, and theatre are the example of recreation

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

that can be used to relieve the stress after gathered it from working tasks.

For instance

Linking Words

, listening to music

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

has

slow

Correct article usage

a slow

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beat can cause a

relax

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relaxed

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interval in your mind and spit out any uneasy things behind.

Linking Words

, increasing

creativity

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with these methods

are

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show examples

quite interesting and

confirmly

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confirmed

confirm

confirming

work

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. While you are painting, you can draw, colour, paint everything you want on a canvas which efficient your imagination and

creativity

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. By doing that, you can apply your

creativity

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in your

work

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, and improving it. There are lots of advantage, but some drawbacks

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are

show examples

quite crucial. If those amusements are taking too much in the

people

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life, works will be stuck, and the efficiency to

succes

Correct your spelling

success

their job is decreased.

For example

Linking Words

, when

somone

Correct your spelling

someone

addicting to a film, they can talk for days, and his mind

migth

Correct your spelling

might

be full of movies

instead

Linking Words

responsible

Add a missing verb

being responsible

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Change preposition

for

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his job. The

work

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is not done, the success of the company, or country, could be

problem

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a problem

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if many

people

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have a lot of

this

Linking Words

thought. In conclusion, investing in

amusement

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the amusement

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can be double edge sword. It can improve

work

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quality by forming more

people

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creativity

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who using it as a recreation in their leisure time.

However

Linking Words

, addicting too much might cause country tasks

stop

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to stop

show examples

walking, and be ruined. Overall, I think that amusement is still vital for the

people

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and worth investing

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show examples

Submitted by thanathit15648 on Fri Sep 17 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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