The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between father and mother

Father
and
mother
are the supporting pillars for the
child
, both have the responsibility of raising their offspring equally between them. In my opinion,
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the couple
a couple
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couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
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have
same
Correct article usage
the same
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responsibility but a
mother
is behind every
child
because she spends more
time
with her kids as compared to
father
Correct article usage
a father
show examples
.
His
Change preposition
With his
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frequent
time
with the job and other outdoor activities, he does stay home all hour with children.
However
, toddlers’
personality
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personalities
show examples
raised
Add a missing verb
are raised
show examples
with both. In many
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
a
child
needs
father’s
Correct article usage
a father’s
show examples
support for taking decisions. Since mothers are always with them while cooking food and giving ethics, helping in studies and more. So,
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
more
time
with kids
Change preposition
than then
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then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
father
.
In addition
, from
birth
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the birth
show examples
of a baby
mother
teaches a kid
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to walk, eat, way of thinking and good manners,
this
improves toddler personality. It is the
father
’s duty to support his
child
in making decisions for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
and give positive thinking in life.
For example
, if
teenager
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a teenager
show examples
needs
dad’s
Correct article usage
a dad’s
show examples
advice on choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
path
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
as a parent needs to step up and guide
in
Correct pronoun usage
him in
show examples
a soft tone and sensible manner. As it will plan an important role in the
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
of the teen. The soft teen touches mind and heart and they will remember
this
for the rest of their life and for mental stability. To conclude, children
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
is one of the main parts in developing their personality. It is the need of
time
that parents should equally divide the duties and help the
child
to grow.
Submitted by aznabeel on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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