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Writing Samples
Band 5

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between father and mother

#responsibility #children #father #mother
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Father
Use synonyms
 and
mother
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 are the supporting pillars for the
child
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, both have the responsibility of raising their offspring equally between them. In my opinion,
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the couple
a couple
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couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
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 have
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 responsibility but a
mother
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 is behind every
child
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 because she spends more
time
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 with her kids as compared to
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father
Correct article usage
a father
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.
His
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With his
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 frequent
time
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 with the job and other outdoor activities, he does stay home all hour with children.
However
Linking Words
, toddlers’
personality
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personalities
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raised
Add a missing verb
are raised
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 with both. In many
places
Add a comma
,places
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 a
child
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 needs
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father’s
Correct article usage
a father’s
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 support for taking decisions. Since mothers are always with them while cooking food and giving ethics, helping in studies and more. So,
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mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 more
time
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 with kids
Linking Words
Change preposition
than then
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then
Correct your spelling
the
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father
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, from
birth
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the birth
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 of a baby
mother
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 teaches a kid
on
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apply
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how to walk, eat, way of thinking and good manners,
this
Linking Words
 improves toddler personality. It is the
father
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’s duty to support his
child
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 in making decisions for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 and give positive thinking in life.
For example
Linking Words
, if
teenager
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a teenager
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 needs
dad’s
Correct article usage
a dad’s
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 advice on choosing
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
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 path
than
Correct your spelling
then
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Use synonyms
father
Correct article usage
the father
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 as a parent needs to step up and guide
in
Correct pronoun usage
him in
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 a soft tone and sensible manner. As it will plan an important role in the
Correct your spelling
upbringing
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up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
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 of the teen. The soft teen touches mind and heart and they will remember
this
Linking Words
 for the rest of their life and for mental stability. To conclude, children
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
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 is one of the main parts in developing their personality. It is the need of
time
Use synonyms
 that parents should equally divide the duties and help the
child
Use synonyms
 to grow.
Submitted by aznabeel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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