IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that the purpose of education for individuals is to be useful to the society, while​ others argue that the purpose is to fulfill personal ambitions of an individual.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.​

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #while​ #ambitions
Education
 is a big part of every
person
’s life. It is one of the fundamental steps to development and growth that enables individuals to acquire
knowledge
 and certain skills. Some
people
 believe that
education
 serves to accomplish personal ambitions while others think that goal of
education
 is to help
society
. In my opinion, academic
knowledge
 can do both works. Educated
people
 are responsible for the usage of
knowledge
 they acquired and should bring many benefits to
society
. They can invent useful items that solve
people
’s problems.
For example
, it can be new devices to provide cures to illness or household technology that ease everyone’s life.
Moreover
, the national government and schools motivate students to enrich the sense of nationalism with the purpose of raising
people
 that serve
society
 Nowadays, the modern lifestyle makes
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
worry less about
society
 and focus on their goals. Every
person
 has their own dream they want to reach in life and the
education
 they receive should help them with that. No matter what
society
 wants, it should be allowed to choose a path that
person
 wants.
However
, the truth is that even if a
person
 follows his own goals, it is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 in some or another way. No matter
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 the
person
 becomes and how successful that individual will be,
people
 all serve
society
 in different ways. In conclusion, academic
knowledge
 can help
people
 not just to achieve personal goals, but
also
 to avail themselves the
society
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: