Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture.Do you think it is important for the children to be taught art?Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subject?

#art #part #society #expression #culture #children #focus

this

emergence of modernization, learning of artistic skills

are

Change the verb form

show examples

thought

Add the particle

tothought

show examples

be an essential expert of the communities, as it aids in expressing the nations traditional rituals. I definitely believe that it is crucial to teach

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artistic

Replace the word

art

show examples

lessons

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

younglings to preserve the nation's history;

however

instead

of giving focal concentration on the

art

youngsters

should

also

learn from other subjects.

This

essay will explain in detail in the following paragraphs. To commence with,in my opinion,

art

is one of the most significant

lessons

which could succour in precluding the existing history from

disapearing

Correct your spelling

disappearing

,if taught to the current

youngsters

.To elaborate,in

this

modern era,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of the information acquired by youths are through music, movies, entertainment, and so on.

Moreover

,in

fact

Add a comma

,fact

show examples

the younglings spend most of their hours watching these sources ensuing them to obtain massive knowledge related to their culture and

traditional

Replace the word

traditions

show examples

Thus

, averting the erstwhile as well as present cultures from getting vanish .To

examplify

Correct your spelling

exemplify

,it is evident that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays bequeath of the

existence

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existing

show examples

history and traditional culture to the

youngsters

is feasible owing to the

artistic

Replace the word

art

show examples

lessons

taught in the schools.

Nonetheless

, I think

instead

of instilling only

art

,students ought to study other

lessons

to adapt

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developing societies.To specify, the artistic knowledge can be inculcated

also

after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

graduation as it has numerous sources.

However

, subjects

such

as science, medical and technologies are

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the main fields to betterment one's living standard;

in addition

,it

also

enable

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enables

show examples

the individual to

socialiast

Correct your spelling

socialist

socialise

with others on

the

Correct article usage

show examples

larger scale.

For instance

,my own sister who studied

medical

Correct article usage

the medical

show examples

field is living a satisfactory life, whereas my brother

inspite

Correct your spelling

in spite

of mastering the

art

field,still struggling to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

for jobs. To conclude,even

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

thought

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

art

has been playing an essential role in our

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

and has been aiding in preserving our culture and

traditional

Replace the word

traditions

show examples

;

nevertheless

, other subjects should

also

be taught to the

youngsters

to survive in today's world.

Submitted by tnyidon193 on Sat Sep 18 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture.Do you think it is important for the children to be taught art?Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subject?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.