The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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These line charts illustrate the proportion of having electrical appliances and the number of time spent on housework in a country

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

1920 and 2019. The

percentage

Use synonyms

of families that have three different electrical appliances rise in

this

Linking Words

century. The figure for a washing

machine

Use synonyms

fluctuated between 40% to 75%. There was a progressive upturn in the proportion of that from 40% to 70% over a span of 40 years between 1920 to 1960 followed by a drop to 64% in 1980.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the data grew stably to 75%

at the end

Linking Words

of the given period. Moving on to the

percentage

Use synonyms

of a

refrigerator

Use synonyms

and a

vacuum

Use synonyms

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

, they showed an upward trend in

this

Linking Words

period. The

percentage

Use synonyms

of families having a

refrigerator

Use synonyms

rise significantly from 0% in 1920 to 100% in 1980 overtaking that of a washing

machine

Use synonyms

in 1945. And there was

also

Linking Words

an increase for that with a

vacuum

Use synonyms

cleaner from 30% to 100% exceeding that of a washing

machine

Use synonyms

in 1960. The number of hours people spent on housework decreased in

this

Linking Words

period. The amount of time dropped significantly from 50 hours to 15% from 1920 to 1980 followed by a significant drop in the

Linking Words

40 years.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clear from the data that the

percentage

Use synonyms

of having a washing

machine

Use synonyms

refrigerator

Use synonyms

vacuum

Use synonyms

cleaner all saw a rise and that hours spent on housework saw a drop. It is

also

Linking Words

striking that every home had a

refrigerator

Use synonyms

and

vacuum

Use synonyms

cleaner after 2000.

LiuYajing119Sat Sep 18 2021

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, machine, refrigerator, vacuum with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

household appliances
time-efficient
labour-saving devices
technological innovations
ownership rate
housework chores
domestic workload
automation
advancements
trend analysis
societal shifts
economic impact
durability
lifespan of appliances
maintenance
historical comparison
time allocation
drudgery reduction
energy consumption
disruption in trends

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The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Students should payfull cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are moving to a new country ,write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house In your letter describe Yourself and your family Which area you would like to live in And what facilities you need in the house.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case