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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one Give reasons for your answer & include any examples from your own knowledge or experience

#schools #phones #development
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Majority
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The majority
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 of the schools in India, i.e., the country that I hail from, bar the
use
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 of mobile
phones
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 within the
school
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 premises. I firmly believe that
this
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 is a positive development in the right direction with multiple reasons to support my claim.
Firstly
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,
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use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of mobiles inside the
school
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 can be extremely distracting for many
students
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 - the ones using it as well as those who are not.
Students
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 may not fully concentrate on the pedagogy or the content of what is being taught to them.
This
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 is because, from a practical lens, there may be a slight possibility of
students
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 being able to
use
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 mobiles from underneath their study desks in a classroom when teachers turn their backs to write on the boards or engage in another activity.
For instance
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, when I was in the 12th grade
,
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apply
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 when a few of my classmates brought their mobiles to
school
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. Unsurprisingly, they made many frivolous and perfidious excuses to
use
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 their
phones
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 under the pretext of leaving the classes for going to the washroom. If
this
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 sort of deception and misrepresentation is permitted,
students
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 are likely to go astray and
Replace the word
lose
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loose
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lose
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 focus in the process.
Secondly
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, ostentatious
use
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 of mobile
phones
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 by
students
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 many augment the wedge between the haves and the have-nots. There is a huge digital divide, especially in India, between the affluent and the destitute. Naturally,
this
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 gap should not be made palpable in an educational institution, where the primary aim of the authorities is to inculcate good morals, values and principles amongst the youth. More often than not, young minds tend to get easily influenced and moved by the conduct of those around them.
Hence
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, if
students
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 witness their contemporaries using high-end, expensive or luxurious mobile
phones
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 beside them
,
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apply
show examples
 when they themselves
cant
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can't
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 afford to, they may
habour
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harbour
 feelings of resentment, jealousy and hate.
This
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 ought to disrupt the healthy environment of growth and learning at
school
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.
Thirdly
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, research has shown that overuse of mobile
phones
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 tends to have an astronomical impact on one's mental health and overall well-being. If people, particularly minors, are exposed to the
radiowaves
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radio waves
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 transmitted by
the
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apply
show examples
mobile
phones
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 at all hours of the day, their general
temprament
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temperament
 is likely to be adversely impacted. Simply put, it is imperative for
students
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 to get the much-needed break from the digital world of technology,
internet
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the internet
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, and artificial intelligence, at least at a time when their location - i.e., a
school
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 - merits their unwavering attention. In the absence thereof,
students
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 are inevitably going to be more inclined to wander off in all directions that they can lay their eyes on, over
the
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apply
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social media. In conclusion, since mobile
phones
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 can be highly disruptive devices that hamper the
students
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' focus, social interaction, as well as mental health, the restriction placed on their usage by schools is indeed a positive development.
Submitted by ishitasoni on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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