It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

#travel #mind #countries #first

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Having easy access to other countries

people

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could enrich themselves with various cultures.

This

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, in turn, has a great impact on

people

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’s minds changing their attitude and perception of the world. In

this

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essay, I will examine how travelling influence our lives and why it is not important to

firstly

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visit all places of a native

country

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First

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and foremost, while travelling

people

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dive deep into the world of different cultures, which allows them to

broad

Replace the word

broaden

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their minds. Especially, during the festivals,

for example

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, many

people

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are exposed to the combination of things like traditional music, national cuisine and interaction with locals.

This

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acqueitance

Correct your spelling

acquaintance

acceptance

leads to positive benefits including making new friends, experiencing new emotions from the food and sounds. In fact,

such

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remarkable and precious moments brighten our everyday life.

However

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, it is

uneccesary

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necessary

to make it a point

firstly

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visit

Fix the infinitive

to visit

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all landmarks of your own

country

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. Usually, within one particular

country

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, the culture is the same everywhere. In Russia,

for instance

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, we have a tradition to build churches without a nail, so every single town and village possess the same place of interest only with one difference - the shapes of these churches are different.

However

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, seeing these tourist attractions brings no pleasure at all since the

country

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evolves in the same way.

That is

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why trips abroad could assist with learning the life experience of drastically opposite nations in terms of their mindset and priorities. In conclusion, even though an exploration of national places is important to some extent to

people

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, I believe that ability to visit other countries is a huge potential for

people

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to grow mentally since they get in touch with foreign traditions and customs.

Submitted by tagubskikh on Sat Sep 18 2021

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these langugages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinions

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. Do you agree or disagree?