IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no argument that improving public
health
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important issues that every country should include
into
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in
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 priorities. Yet time and time again
this
Linking Words
 responsibility is usually placed on the shoulders of the government when in fact it should be each individual who can
also
Linking Words
 take charge of
such
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 a fundamental issue. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before a conclusion is reached. It is true to say that governments play an important role in keeping
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
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 and being responsible for the general
health
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 conditions of their citizens. They should provide a clean environment and efficient
health
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 care policy for people.
In addition
Linking Words
, the authorities can maintain the
health
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 of the general population by increasing the number of
sport
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sports
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 facilities
such
Linking Words
 as parks and open spaces in each community in order to encourage people to exercise more often
,
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apply
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 and leading to the improvement of both public
health
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 and individual
health
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.
However
Linking Words
, individual
health
Use synonyms
 is considered
as
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apply
show examples
a personal matter and the government cannot be the only one to play a major role in improving it.
In other words
Linking Words
, there is nothing that the government could do if an individual has unhealthy habits.
Therefore
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, each individual should choose healthy lifestyles and habits
such
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 as eating healthy food, having
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 diet and taking sufficient rest which are major factors to boost
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
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 immunity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they must consult a doctor regularly or have
annual
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an annual
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 medical
check up
Add a hyphen
check-up
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 to see if they are physically fit. In conclusion, both governments and individuals have a great impact on improving public
health
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. While governments must prioritize and take serious actions on
this
Linking Words
 issue, people should pay more attention
on
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to
show examples
 taking
a
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apply
show examples
better care of themselves. Doing so can lead to a healthy community in the present and in the future generation.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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