It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.
It is recommended that
children
in primary school should be encouraged to learn how to plant
vegetables and rear animals
. The benefits of this
involve learning and understanding the hard work
it takes to do these activities, thereby promoting appreciation. Moreover
, the process of learning such
a skill could endanger a child's life as some animals
can be unpredictable.
To start with, these activities teach them to appreciate the hard work
required in farming. Growing vegetables and training animals
require a large amount of work
, when a child is familiar with this
process and is actively involved in performing these tasks, then
they will grow an appreciation for these foods when they are finally
cultivated. This
is because they have seen firsthand the amount of time, work
, and process it takes to grow till the plants fully mature. For instance
, a study that was conducted between children
in families that purchase their food
from stores, alongside those who plant
at home, found that there was hardly any food
wasted in the families that grow their own food
in comparison to the latter. When asked why they have minimal wastage, they mentioned how hard it was to plant
the food
they eat, so they would not want to see it going to waste. Hence
, it shows that performing these tasks,
has an impact on Remove the comma
apply
children
.
On the other hand
, there is a possibility of injury to them. This
is because children
do not fully understand how animals
function, and what to do and they become violent. Furthermore
, when such
a situation occurs, there is a high chance of injury to them. The animals
could run over them in some cases and because of how fragile they are the injury may be more severe in comparison to when it happens to an adult.
Therefore
, showing that teaching a young child to keep animals
may cause more harm than good.
In conclusion, encouraging children
to practice growing plants could teach them to be less wasteful and understand the value of plant
growing. Subsequently
, teaching them about keeping animals
could be detrimental to them as it could cause injuries if they are attacked. In my opinion, children
should only be encouraged to do these activities while
under supervision.Submitted by suleezekielo on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas presented in the argument. Keep the introduction short and to the point, stating the topic and outlining your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the argument by ensuring that ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas, improving the readability of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and specifically relevant examples. The examples used should directly relate to the task at hand and be developed adequately within the paragraph, helping to illustrate the point and add depth to the argument. Avoid overly general or irrelevant examples which do not strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay fully responds to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Each paragraph should contain a clear central idea that relates to the task, with relevant supporting details to back up your main points. Avoid straying from the topic or including unrelated information, which may affect the completeness of the response.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas comprehensively, with a focus on depth rather than breadth. Each idea should be fully explained and elaborated on, giving the reader a full understanding of your position and reasoning. Avoid making unsubstantiated claims or superficial statements that do not add significant value to the discussion.
Task Achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. You should aim for examples that are directly applicable to the topic and enhance the reader's understanding of the point you are making. Examples should be integrated smoothly into the essay and should be used to concretely back up your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
