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Band 5.5

Some people consider sports to be their career in the society. For others, it is mostly a workout to stay fit. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #career #society #workout
For some individuals, the
sport
 is the great path to start the career ladder, whereas, other people do regular exercises to keep the fitness of their body. Personally, I would prefer a workout to maintain
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 physical health since doing sports can have serious consequences.
This
 essay will examine both views. On the one hand, it is apparently reasonable to consider sports as a very successful option when choosing the
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
.
First
 of all, activities
such
 as swimming, skiing, running can stimulate the work of human muscles and activate metabolic processes.
Subsequently
, the body will comparingly receive more nutritious elements.
Secondly
, from the perspective of finance, medals earned from prestigious competitions probably have an enormous prize behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Therefore
, some athletes find it sensible to participate in certain contests.
On the other hand
,
sport
 heals but cripples. The pleasant sides of
this
 sphere were enumerated,
nevertheless
, it is undeniable that there are many cases where people became disabled after
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long-lasting stressful lifestyle.
For instance
, Muhammed Ali, the beloved boxer of the world, is the perfect model of these traumatic experiences, since he happened to be handicapped after the defeat from a more capable opponent.
Moreover
, just having a workout routine is sufficient to stay healthy and can be more beneficial than particular types of detrimental
sport
. In conclusion, even though it is collectively thought that the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 career is unsophisticated, it can lead to horrible circumstances,
instead
 of which simple exercises can be much safer.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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