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Band 4.5

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cell #phones #work
Some people argue that
smartphones
 should be used only for personal
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
, while others say that they in most cases
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 for
work
. In my opinion, cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 mostly should be for personal
use
 and sometimes for
work
. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern telephones have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 wide range of functions that helps in using them. Lack of them directed to
work
, so it will be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comfortable tool to
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in everyday life. The pleasant design and high performance of new
smartphones
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 more opportunity to models and gamers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than workers. Employees should
use
laptop
Add an article
a laptop
the laptop
show examples
 that was created
special
Change the adjective
specially
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 for office
workman
Fix the agreement mistake
workmen
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. They have more
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 in solving
work
 tasks, which strengthens the smartphone status as
everyday
Correct article usage
an everyday
show examples
 life device.
On the other hand
, cell phones allow people to contact with place of
work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere and every time. It is the main
use
 of telephones that requires any job. The compactness of
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
 gives
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to send files and other materials to someone out of the office.
In addition
, it is easy to connect with
boss
Correct article usage
the boss
show examples
 in cases of emergency to inform the reasons for being late or other situations.
That is
 why every employee should have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a smartphone
smartphones
show examples
smartphones
 in an accessible place. Taking everything into account, modern
smartphones
 have
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 in everyday life, but we cannot argue the benefits in
work
Add an article
the work
a work
show examples
 environment. I believe that
smartphones
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 created to make it easier for ordinary people to
use
, rather than workers. I prefer to
use
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
show examples
 or computer to do
work
 and study tasks.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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