IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks ?

#tourism #world
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Tourism
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 in novel decades has its own positive points and advert aspects. In comparison between these controversial opinions, I firmly declare that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of tourist attraction are entirely more
Correct your spelling
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 its cons. Some
people
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,
however
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, argue that tourists can have
inappropriate
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an inappropriate
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Replace the word
effect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 on societies. In fact,
this
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 group of individuals announce that most of these communities have infrastructures tailor to their population. When a
country
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accept
Change the verb form
accepts
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 travellers, sizeable numbers of individuals enter in
specific
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a specific
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 place and require to utilize the same facilities which citizens of that
country
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 should use
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consistently,
Thus
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 lack of initial well-being devices
such
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 as numbers of buses and trains which are used for transportation system would harm to permanent inhabitants. It makes them
to
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apply
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stand in long queries to commute.
On the other hand
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, others, myself including, believe that
besides
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 pity drawbacks which
tourism
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 can be provided for cities, having them and raising the number of them per year can assist to a
country
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's monetary conditions and develop the economic situations. What
people
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 who travel to a
country
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 supply for that place is financial transactions which can be totally useful and sufficient for flourishing economic aspects'. The more capable
a
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apply
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society is in the case of
tourism
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, the more amount of cash will be brought by them.
Furthermore
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, were other humans with diverse races, cultures and customs to enter as tourists, they would boost the horizons and insight of endemic individuals.
This
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 diversity is of paramount importance regarding sociable aspects
,
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apply
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 and can develop situations of lives and attitude among
people
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, in order to increase their visions of life and happiness. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
tourism
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 can have limited drawbacks, its points absolutely overweigh them. Since can not only improve
people
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's attitudes
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 raise financial condition in a
country
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.
Submitted by farhanealavi on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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