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Band 5

Nowadays some people have anti-social behavior and lack respect to others.What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

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Introduction
It is said that some people act disrespected and have anti-social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
others
Use synonyms
 and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. In my view, many reasons can cause these phenomena, whereas there are some solutions
might
Correct pronoun usage
that might
show examples
 solve these problems.
Body paragraph 1
Begin with the causes, family issues are the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 an individual's
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 habits from their adolescent period, in ting other words, parenting styles is a vital factor.
For example
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychological researches show that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 who have over-control, over-protection and neglect child problems are easier to affect their children's mental health, whereby the
parents
Use synonyms
' mistaken parenting styles. If a child recognized the
neglected
Replace the word
neglect
show examples
 or
controlling
Replace the word
control
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
, they will tend to be over-reacted and resist
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others
Use synonyms
 for expressing their
unsatisfication
Correct your spelling
unsatisfaction
, especially among teenagers. The consequence is that they are easy to become
anti-social
Add an article
an anti-social
the anti-social
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, appropriate
education
Use synonyms
 from
parents
Use synonyms
 is the crucial aspect to solve these problems. A person who accepted valuable
education
Use synonyms
 and
warmth
Correct article usage
a warmth
show examples
 environment from their family could have the ability to distinguish right and wrong since childhood.
For instance
Linking Words
, many families who provided children
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
healthy family atmosphere that without violence, control, alcohol and drugs, along with teaching children
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independence, polite
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and self-management,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would grow up healthy and have respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
others
Use synonyms
, and have the willing of
contribute
Change the verb form
contributing
show examples
 to society’s well-being.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, they need to accept
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 or therapy when they become
bad-behavior
Change the spelling
bad-behaviour
show examples
 adults, whereby the worse effects from disrespected
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 to
others
Use synonyms
 and their own development.
Conclusion
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family factors can influence an individual's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 strongly.
Thus
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 from
parents
Use synonyms
 and society is significantly important, which can improve many personal mental aspects.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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