IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #waste #time #money
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There is no doubt that travelling has become one of the most popular activities to do in the leisure
time
Use synonyms
. It is considered by some that
a travel
Remove the article
travel
a journey
a trip
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 can be
the
Correct article usage
a
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 memorable experience which enriches people’s lives, while there are others who think that it is
time
Use synonyms
-consuming and requires a considerable sum of money. I believe that benefit, which
travelling
Correct article usage
the travelling
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 experience provides is immense. On the one hand, travelling is not cheap and takes a huge amount of
time
Use synonyms
. To start with, an average person cannot afford to travel, because their budget is enough only for their day-to-day expenses. In case if they keep spending money
for
Change preposition
on
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 numerous tourist attractions, accommodation, food and reaching a destination, it will have devastating economic impacts on humans’ finance.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 spend long hours sitting in the car, or on the plane,
instead
Linking Words
 of economizing
this
Linking Words
 valuable
time
Use synonyms
 and doing other things.
Also
Linking Words
, they have to wait at the airports, bus and train
stop
Fix the agreement mistake
stops
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, travelling to other places is a good opportunity to gain knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
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 various cultures and languages. Heading overseas broadens
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
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 horizons.
In other words
Linking Words
, individuals will have the chance to meet people from different cultural backgrounds and find out about unfamiliar foreign customs and taste different food.
This
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
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traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
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 more rounded as a person.
Moreover
Linking Words
, travel is a cure for the part of
community
Add an article
a community
the community
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 who is suffering from the daily routine, which involves hectic jobs, crowded public transport and busy schedules. It allows tourists to reset the mind, take a step back and get a better perspective on life.
For instance
Linking Words
, visiting places, which are filled with beautiful views, helps to find inner peace. Taking everything into account,
although
Linking Words
 the cost of a trip is expensive, and it lasts a long
time
Use synonyms
, valuable experience gained by being exposed to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 culture, and positive impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health are more important.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
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