The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

It is often argued that some sectors are more important than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others,

hence

may require more funding than those considered of less value.

This

essay is discussing the notion that funding music and theatre is a waste of money

instead

it should be used to invest in public

services

. Despite that it is more essential to fund public

services

than the

entertainment

industry

this

sector

should not be

egnored

Correct your spelling

ignored

. The

entertainment

industry

comes as a secondary need in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Citizens require proper facilities for education, health etc. These

esssential

Correct your spelling

essential

sectors have to be satisfied

adequatly

Correct your spelling

adequately

before other departments which the general population can do without.

For example

when a part of the country has been hit by a natural disaster

such

as a cyclone. Funds will be naturally channelled to assisting those areas as peoples' lives will be at risk.

Hence

critical sectors have to be considered

first

before spending more on secondary needs.

On the contrary

outwright

Correct your spelling

outright

say funding the arts

sector

is a waste of money is not true. It is apparent that human beings are diverse creatures. which means their likes, interests and talents are diverse. Not everyone was made to become

Change the article

show examples

engineer, people are broad some are musicians or artists. It is important to nature those with talents in the

entertainment

industry

in the

proffessional

Correct your spelling

professional

direction so that they can make a living out of it.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

those in public

services

need amusement during their leisure time and may listen to music or visit the art gallery for refreshing. The government should not

abondon

Correct your spelling

abandon

the

entertainment

industry

entirely as it would demotivate those talented in

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

that

sector

. It is apparent that public

services

are more crucial for the

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

of citizens.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

human beings require basic commodities before luxury items. It is essential that the

governmnent

Correct your spelling

government

should proportion sufficient funds to these before the

entertainment

sector

. The arts, music and theatre department should not be

egnored

Correct your spelling

ignored

as it

also

helps during leisure times.

Submitted by moyosarahs on Sun Sep 19 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Global warming is one of the various climate issues. Discuss the possible causes ad offer measures to control the damage caused.

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living sstandards on Earth. Do you argee or disagree?

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefit from this, the community or these young people?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city?

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?