Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development？

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development？

We live in an ever-changing world; society is changing in significant ways. A clear example can be seen in the much older generation living with their children after retirement. I firmly believe that

it’s

a positive sign for society. In the following paragraph, my stand will be analyzed

further

. Out of all the reasons, the foremost one is when they retire from their job, they feel lonely. At that time, they will need support to eradicate their loneliness. In 2013, A study conducted by Missouri state university revealed that 60% of older people had suffered from depression because of loneliness.

Furthermore

, if they live with a family, they are busy with work.

It’s

good for their mental health.

On the other hand

, senior people suffer from many diseases like Asthma, kidney problems, heart diseases, and so on. They need all-time monitoring and will go to the doctor at time-to-time.

It’s

only possible if they will live with their adult closed one.

Additionally

, grandchildren are safe and taken care of by their grandparents when their parents are going to work or leave the town.

For example

, many married females in Dhaka city will do their job free of mind because they keep their children with their grandparents. From the light of the above discussion, it can be

finally

stated that retirement communities play a significant role after retirement in society. So

it’s

quickly saying that they live with their children rather than the old home.

It’s

good for him and the community.

Submitted by d.meshbah on Sun Sep 19 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development？

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Wildlife poplulation around the world has decreased by around 50 percent, what can we do to protect wildlife?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Households owning and renting accomodation in England and Wales 1918 to 2011

Write an article, saying whether or not people should set personal goals, giving your views. Write about 120 to 160 words

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. Do you agree or disagree?