IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#driver #education #habits #punishments #offenses
Driving
lessons
 are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
beneficial for safety on our roads,unlike heavy punishments on wrong and poor driving skills
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree and will discuss in
this
 essay. Driving is considered an area that requires skills and expertise ,Enrolling in a driving school class does not require much, it just requires individuals presenting themselves with the requested documents and classes begin.
This
lessons
Change the determiner
lesson
show examples
entails
Change the verb form
entail
show examples
 theory part of and practicals whereby the student goes through vigorous training on how to handle the kind of
vechicle
Correct your spelling
vehicle
one
 has enrolled classes for. Practical
lessons
 will involve
one
 having a car that they will be required to drive with the help of a teacher.After the theory and practicals are done in a three months period the student will have to sit an exam to test their skills
this
 does not mean that they are
finally
 good at driving ,the reason behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 that the basics have been understood and can be applied well.
On the contrary
 poor
lessons
 or lack of it cannot be the main reason for reckless driving ,some people are good drivers but they drive under the influence of alcohol
this
 is punishable by law.Going through the education process is important but it is not the solution.The training
instituions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 and so is the government need not rush to issue driving licence but give an ultimatum on the same
for instance
 for
one
 to get their driving licence after the 3months you will need to produce proof that you been driving for let say 6 months
then
 only
then
 can
one
 receive their licence and allowed to drive legally on our roads. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 Reckless driving can be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a result of stress,driving under the influence of drugs/
alchol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 Education is vital in all those it brings out an understanding of whatever it is you
doing
Change the form of the verb
do
show examples
.
Submitted by Estherwanjohi17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: