IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

advancement in communication technology and transportation has help people to word and live anywhere. do the advantages outweigh disadvantage.

#advancement #communication #technology #transportation #people #word
There is no doubt that development in technology has made
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 for
people
 for working and moving anywhere in the
world
. Advancement in way of communication and means of
transportation
 has added privilege in doing jobs and walk to any part of the
world
. Despite the challenges of increased crime and
insecurities
,
people
 can find desired job
world
 wild and live a lifestyle of their wish. In my opinion, using progressive means of connection and transport has far better
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 despite many
insecurities
. The greatest power of
information
 technology and
transportation
 is to be able to do business, study and shift anywhere around the
world
, and using these facilities
people
 are living their desired lifestyle. when there are different options are available to connect with
people
, they will succeed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their business or study the subject of their interest and connect with
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
whoever
Change the pronoun
whomever
show examples
 they want to work for. If they want, they can shift easily since the progress of
transportation
 have facilitated
people
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
 without any restriction. A prominent example of
this
 is,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 wanted to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Colombia university,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 fulfilled
this
 dream with the help of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. I was able to apply
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my desired college and move and completed my education. In my view,
although
 there are some challenges to use
this
 technology,
this
 offers the great opportunity to contact anywhere in the
world
 and they can convey themselves any part of the earth.
however
, progress in telecommunication and way of delivery
people
 assisted many
people
, there are some challenges
such
 as increasing crime and
insecurities
 of
life
. Because of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of sim cards and effortless use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
people
 can achieve
information
 of anybody and they can follow anywhere using the car, bus,
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
, train
that is
 destroying the secret of individual
life
. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, one of my friends
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lost her joy of
life
 in a kidnapping case, criminal took her
information
 from her public profile and followed her. Sitting in one place criminal mindset
people
 accessing others
information
 effortlessly.
Therefore
, the development of these
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 has put peoples'
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in danger.
Furthermore
,
this
 advancement has increased the
insecurities
 level of
people
's identity. Using these
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
people
 want to get ingrate the highest level of
life
 opportunity but in one shot they can lose their everything when it goes to the wrong hand.
This
 will certainly leave a
life
-threatening provocation. That's why
people
 should be careful while taking advantage of
these flourished system
Change the determiner
this flourished system
these flourished systems
show examples
 In conclusion, the thrive in
these communication and
Change the determiner
this communication and transportation system
these communication and transportation systems
show examples
transportation
 system definitely has some negative part,
however
,
this
 has added a lot more value in
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of
people
. In my opinion, the pros of
this
 advancement outweigh the cons.
Submitted by laxmithapa2921 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: