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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people consider sports to be their career in the society. For others, it is mostly a workout to stay fit.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.​

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In the era of globalization and modern technologies, where advanced IT appliances have replaced physical activities, people
become
Add a missing verb
have become
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 more inactive than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 used to be in the past. Many inhabitants consider that doing
sport
Use synonyms
 has a
huge
Change the adjective
hugely
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 beneficial impact on
public
Add an article
the public
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 as well as individual’s career, whereas others perceive it as a leisure time activity to be in shape. The objective of
this
Linking Words
 essay is to examine whether
sport
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in sportsmen’s
life
Use synonyms
 in society or it is nothing more than outside interest. On the one hand,
sport
Use synonyms
 is considered to be one of the most glorious ways of proving yourself, as only a tiny number of people ever get the possible opportunity to play professionally.
In other words
Linking Words
, in the contemporary
world
Add a comma
,world
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 the vast majority of athletes go in for sports for reputation and to maintain an active social
life
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, having been an Olympic champion, a sportsman has several opportunities to have a prosperous
life
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, continuing his/her career in various spheres, including business and politics.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 tendency has been considered as a beneficial contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, as it reveals
talent
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the talent
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 of outstanding individuals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working out to stay fit bring a positive experience to
human’s
Correct article usage
a human’s
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life
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, being auspicious for the mind, body and spirit. In other quarters, an active lifestyle can help
person
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a person
the person
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 to achieve fitness goals and maintain a healthy weight, encouraging healthy
decision – making
Correct your spelling
decision–making
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such
Linking Words
 as not smoking and not drinking. To set an example, researchers from the University of Missouri Health Care have shown that people who do physical activities regularly live on average 5 years longer than inactive individuals.
Hence
Linking Words
,
sport
Use synonyms
 is a key
of
Change preposition
to
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wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
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 health. To sum up, all aforementioned points illustrate that
although
Linking Words
 professional
sport
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 brings few benefits as
a
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apply
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glory and
a
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apply
show examples
fame, it is able to cripple human’s health. As far as I am concerned, exercising to stay fit, without loading a body is the most
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 way of maintaining
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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