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AT THE PRESENT TIME, THE PAPILATION of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #papilation #countries #adults #people #situation
In recent decades, due to the rapid increase of
population
 throughout the world, one of the
controversialy
Correct your spelling
controversial
controversially
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 is about comparing the
avrage
Correct your spelling
average
 of old and young adults proportion in all
countries
.
Also
, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments
Change the noun form
argument
show examples
 about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of the more number of youth than aged people.
However
, the demetrise impact of
aged
Correct article usage
the aged
show examples
population
 is more than
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 the teenage
population
 eventually. on the one hand, if a
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 number of a country’s
Correct your spelling
population
show examples
papulation
Correct your spelling
population
show examples
 are senescences, the government
Correct your spelling
ought
show examples
ough
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ought
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 to spend a significant part of its
boudget
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budget
for
Change preposition
on
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 their
retirment’s
Correct your spelling
retirement
retirement's
 salary
annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
.
Furthermore
, the social and medical
geriaric
Correct your spelling
geriatric
 services are so expensive.
Although
 the elderly maybe not need to some
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 facilities or lone, the
authoritises
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should investigate a
notisable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 money for older people while they cannot work and have financial benefits for their
countries
.
on the other hand
,
on
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one
show examples
 of the most important things for all
countries
 is juvenile
workforc
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workforce
 in terms of producing industries which has a
merites
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merits
merit
merited
 effect on
Add an article
the economy
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 system.
Although
 the young
population
 have financial
benefites
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for their government, the government have to make more job
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for them.
In addition
, the adolescents need more social services
such
 as lone for
maridation
Correct your spelling
marination
 and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 or even
academical
Replace the word
academic
show examples
 services
such
 as universities and schools. to conclude, the advantages and disadvantages resemble two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of one coin but in
this
case
Add a comma
,case
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 the benefits of more youthful
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more than
this
 drawbacks. thereby, who is in power in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a country
countries
show examples
countries
 ought to manage the
population
 efficiently.
Submitted by mgolnari6 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Youthful energy
  • Dynamic workforce
  • Innovation
  • Dependency ratio
  • Economic growth
  • Social welfare systems
  • Healthcare provision
  • Aging population
  • Productive age demographic
  • Cultural vibrancy
  • Policy making
  • Unemployment
  • Underemployment
  • Job creation
  • Educational opportunities
  • Work-life balance
  • Sustainable development
  • Inter-generational equity
  • Adaptability
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