Today more people are overweight than ever before. What is your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

Obesity is one of the most serious and expanding illnesses in the
last
decades. Demanding
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
lifestyle
, easy access to unhealthy foods and the promotion
for
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of
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media lead
in
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to
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it. Governments and individuals should take action
for preventing
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to prevent
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people
to
Change preposition
from
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be
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
obese.
This
essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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the causes and the solutions for
this
serious problem. The main reason for being overweight is the sedentary
lifestyle
. Workers work long hours every day to cover their
financials
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financial
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and
socials
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social
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need,
as a result
,
to
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do
show examples
not have spare time for exercise.
Furthermore
, fast food restaurants are very popular because they are almost in every corner of the big cities and usually are cheaper than the healthy options.
For example
,
Mc Donalds
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McDonald's
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has an innumerable amount of stores in the United States. Promoting habits like smoking and consumption of soft drinks via advertisement have
as a consequence
to growth
the
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in the
show examples
number of overweight people. Governments should organise campaigns to teach residents to follow the idea of a healthy
lifestyle
and the benefits so people would be more aware of obesity.
Moreover
, governments in corporations with companies can establish free workout programmes in the
workplaces
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workplace
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so individuals in
an
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apply
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office work can enjoy an exercise programme like yoga in their breaks.
In addition
, extra taxes on unhealthy products can lead to raising their price and being
less
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apply
show examples
cheaper. In summary, obesity is a major issue in our society and it is caused by a sedentary
lifestyle
, wrong food choices and advertisements actions are the only way to overcome
this
problem.
Submitted by adsougl on

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task response
Make sure to fully address the essay prompt and provide a clear opinion on the primary causes of obesity and the measures to overcome it.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is somewhat disorganized. Try using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that ideas are connected coherently throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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