Today more people are overweight than ever before. What is your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?
Obesity is one of the most serious and expanding illnesses in the
last
decades. Demanding working
Correct article usage
a working
lifestyle
, easy access to unhealthy foods and the promotion for
media lead Change preposition
of
in
it. Governments and individuals should take action Change preposition
to
for preventing
people Change preposition
to prevent
to
Change preposition
from
be
obese. Verb problem
becoming
This
essay will be discussed
the causes and the solutions for Wrong verb form
discuss
this
serious problem.
The main reason for being overweight is the sedentary lifestyle
. Workers work long hours every day to cover their financials
and Correct your spelling
financial
socials
need, Fix the agreement mistake
social
as a result
, to
not have spare time for exercise. Correct your spelling
do
Furthermore
, fast food restaurants are very popular because they are almost in every corner of the big cities and usually are cheaper than the healthy options. For example
, Mc Donalds
has an innumerable amount of stores in the United States. Promoting habits like smoking and consumption of soft drinks via advertisement have Correct your spelling
McDonald's
as a consequence
to growth the
number of overweight people.
Governments should organise campaigns to teach residents to follow the idea of a healthy Change preposition
in the
lifestyle
and the benefits so people would be more aware of obesity. Moreover
, governments in corporations with companies can establish free workout programmes in the workplaces
so individuals in Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
an
office work can enjoy an exercise programme like yoga in their breaks. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, extra taxes on unhealthy products can lead to raising their price and being less
cheaper.
In summary, obesity is a major issue in our society and it is caused by a sedentary Correct quantifier usage
apply
lifestyle
, wrong food choices and advertisements actions are the only way to overcome this
problem.Submitted by adsougl on
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task response
Make sure to fully address the essay prompt and provide a clear opinion on the primary causes of obesity and the measures to overcome it.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is somewhat disorganized. Try using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that ideas are connected coherently throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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