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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some experts suppose that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some specialists suggest that if a country is developed richly, the extra economic growth couldn't bring more happiness to the public. In my view, I completely agree with
this
 opinion,
thus
 I will discuss the reasons that support the idea. Nowadays, some of the rich countries are turning to develop their cultural aspect while some are pursuing more wealth for their economy.
However
, an over-developed economy can't give residents more sense of contentment because of the increasing desire in society. Owning to the rising of consumption and life standard, many people have bigger ambitions to pursue more money, whereas
this
 phenomenon is just bringing anxiety and risk rather than pleasure.
For example
, many investors put a large amount of money in the stock market and gain nothing; while others purchase luxury goods in order to compare with their friends;
moreover
, some people are gambling with their living expenses and lose all the property.
In contrast
, the developing culture, health care and social well-being are giving residents mental fulfilment and satisfaction.
For instance
, some developed countries that contribute to health care, environmental protection and citizen's well-being have a higher happiness level in the world.
Furthermore
, the construction of museums, the reintroduction of forests, and the raising of artists are fulling the mental satisfaction of the public, whereby the rich cultural atmosphere.
In addition
, many people choose to retreat into the countryside
instead
 of living in bustling cities, thereby they can embrace more sense of freedom and enjoyment, approach to natural environment without economic pressure in over-developed cities. In conclusion, I believe that
although
 the economy is a vital aspect of a country, mental fulfilment can bring true happiness after financial development.
Submitted by cantodamomo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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