IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

#people #country #work #outweigh #terms #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most of the
people
Use synonyms
 go out from their own
country
Use synonyms
 to another region to involve in a job, or to find a job with their family, which will open many opportunities to those with necessary skills and intrinsic motivation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that despite the issue when capable
people
Use synonyms
 left their
nation
Use synonyms
, the risk of no workforce remains in the region. When a family left the
nation
Use synonyms
, the risk of not returning back is possible to the
nation
Use synonyms
,
further
Linking Words
 at least for a degree holder, it might be harder to find a permanent job with a good salary in a particular state with financial barriers. If a graduate passes out from a recognized university, he
/
Use synonyms
she is willing to join a company except his
/
Use synonyms
her career path is based on academia. Because a student sacrificed a lot in their life; money and time, no one can say that he
/
Use synonyms
she needs to sacrifice his
/
Use synonyms
her other part of the life with finding a good profession,
instead
Linking Words
 of leaving the
country
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the visited area might be a developed region, so because of the comforts there, travellers may not come back which will be a reason to lose important persons to the
nation
Use synonyms
. Apart from the drawbacks, individuals can earn money as they wish by using their skills and the passion on a particular employer abroad which will be opened doors for the promotions, and survive themselves
first
Linking Words
, and
then
Linking Words
 they can be thought about coming back to their
nation
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Mr Chamath Palihawadana, a Sri Lankan guy is the current chief executive officer for Facebook which is the most popular world-famous social networking platform, used by billions of
people
Use synonyms
 in present.
Such
Linking Words
 great
people
Use synonyms
 are adding more value to their
country
Use synonyms
 because of their popularity. To conclude, if the
first
Linking Words
 impression of leaving the
country
Use synonyms
 gives an idea of some kind of a loss to the
nation
Use synonyms
, more benefits can be seen after some time.
Submitted by chamara19d on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: