Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food

In recent days many

countries

are experiencing instability which has resulted in refugees.I partial agree that wealthy

countries

should accept more refugees and provide them with basic needs

such

as food and housing

First

developed

countries

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

have large amounts of money which can be used to fund

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their necessities.

For instance

, Western

countries

helped many

Afghanistans

Correct your spelling

Afghanistan's

to settle in their

countries

when they experienced unrest. Most of the nations allocate money

that is

particularly for

this

course.

Secondly

, most of these

countries

are safe

hence

most displaced individuals feel secure.

For example

,when war broke in Syria many found peace in Greece

hence

they were able to experience freedom. Wealthy states should be forced into taking in many fugitives as

this

will not help them build their homeland.

Furthermore

this

will increase poverty levels which can be detrimental to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future generations.

For example

,women

activist

Fix the agreement mistake

activists

show examples

remain back in Afghanistan to fight for

rights

Correct article usage

the rights

show examples

of the female gender against which was applauded by several sovereign states. In my conclusion,it is the sole responsibility of every citizen to build their fatherland and not

destroy

Correct pronoun usage

itdestroy

show examples

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Sep 20 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

182 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or is it the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of goods?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries it is traditional for men to work and for women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?