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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
Environment
 plays a key role in the world. Because, protecting
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 can save many lives
such
 as
plants
,
animals
 and human beings. Few
people
 believe that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of
plants
 and
animals
 is the major problem in today’s world. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others say that there are many other drawbacks
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are more important than
loss
Add an article
the loss
show examples
 of species.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both perceptions and discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
major
problems
 of loss of
environment
.
Firstly
, some
people
 say that due to the decrease in
plants
 as well as
animals
 we are facing environmental
problems
. Cutting of
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 leads to all these
problems
.
For example
,
people
 usually cut
trees
 for many purposes,
such
 as making
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
paper. But they do not reuse or recycle the paper most of
Add an article
the times
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, which causes more cutting of
trees
.If there are no
trees
 it may affect the
animals
 and humans.They don’t find food and oxygen in
this
 case.
On the other hand
, few
people
 say that there are many other major
problems
 which have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
For instance
, pollution is the most dangerous problem which may harm living species. Due to
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 in
vehicles
Add a comma
,vehicles
show examples
 there is
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of CO2 emission.
Plants
 intake carbon dioxide and
produces
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
 oxygen.
Bu
Correct your spelling
But
show examples
,due to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in
plants
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in pollutants there is less O2 available.
This
 might lead to
people
’s death. Henceforth, I feel pollution is the most dangerous thing than
loss
Add an article
the loss
a loss
show examples
 of
animals
. If there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 pollution, humans will be lead a healthier life. So, they can plant more
trees
 which
intrun
Correct your spelling
in turn
intr-un
 results in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ecofriendly
environment
.
Submitted by nitin.chowdary4545 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: