IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion.

#people #money #ceremonies #points
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Nowadays few individuals do more expenditure on their family functions, while , others think that it is
Correct article usage
a
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wastage of
money
Use synonyms
. I will discuss both sides along with my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. On the one side,
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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utilize their wealth
on
Change preposition
at
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 wedding parties because they wanted to prove their status high in
society
Correct article usage
the society
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 in which they live and just for show off purpose.
Secondly
Linking Words
, rich
people
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 have enough
money
Use synonyms
 they spend
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 on special occasions in their family to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the fonds of their children, while poor
people
Use synonyms
 spend more so that their children can stay happy with their
in- laws
Correct your spelling
in-laws
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.
Also
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 , it
traditional
Add a missing verb
is traditional
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 in many places to give expensive gifts ,
wedding
Correct article usage
a wedding
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 in
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
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 hall which takes lakhs rupees, so few
people
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 are just forced to do
this
Linking Words
. On the other side,
people
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 who think
thatand
Correct your spelling
that and
that
 according to my point of view , it is
notmandatory
Correct your spelling
not mandatory
 to do
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of expenditure on ceremony, because
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can
be utilize
Change the verb form
be utilized
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 for
other purpose
Change the wording
another purpose
other purposes
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such
Linking Words
 as to provide education to poor
people
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 and for charity.
Moreover
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, if they save
money
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, it can be used in their bad time ,like
people
Use synonyms
 can take better health facilities.
Also
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 , individuals take loans from banks for weddings which enhance the stress level of
family
Correct article usage
the family
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, decrease expenses not only reduce their worries
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
Linking Words
 make their life more easy and smooth.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, one can help needy
people
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. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on their family occasions for enjoyment, I believe that,
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can be utilized for donations and giving teaching to
low class
Add a hyphen
low-class
show examples
 children.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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