Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion.

Nowadays few individuals do more expenditure on their family functions, while , others think that it is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wastage of
money
. I will discuss both sides along with my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
paragraphs. On the one side,
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
utilize their wealth
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
wedding parties because they wanted to prove their status high in
society
Correct article usage
the society
show examples
in which they live and just for show off purpose.
Secondly
, rich
people
have enough
money
they spend
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
on special occasions in their family to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the fonds of their children, while poor
people
spend more so that their children can stay happy with their
in- laws
Correct your spelling
in-laws
show examples
.
Also
, it
traditional
Add a missing verb
is traditional
show examples
in many places to give expensive gifts ,
wedding
Correct article usage
a wedding
show examples
in
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
show examples
hall which takes lakhs rupees, so few
people
are just forced to do
this
. On the other side,
people
who think
thatand
Correct your spelling
that and
that
according to my point of view , it is
notmandatory
Correct your spelling
not mandatory
to do
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of expenditure on ceremony, because
this
money
can
be utilize
Change the verb form
be utilized
show examples
for
other purpose
Change the wording
another purpose
other purposes
show examples
such
as to provide education to poor
people
and for charity.
Moreover
, if they save
money
, it can be used in their bad time ,like
people
can take better health facilities.
Also
, individuals take loans from banks for weddings which enhance the stress level of
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
, decrease expenses not only reduce their worries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
make their life more easy and smooth.
In addition
to
this
, one can help needy
people
. To conclude,
although
,
people
spend more
money
on their family occasions for enjoyment, I believe that,
this
money
can be utilized for donations and giving teaching to
low class
Add a hyphen
low-class
show examples
children.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: