IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #money #support
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Nowadays definition of
success
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 has become earning a lot of
money
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. Some
people
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 believe that only
people
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 who earn a lot of
money
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 are successful. I completely disagree with
this
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 statement. There are many other
factors
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 that define the
success
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 of a
person
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.
This
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 essay will discuss various
factors
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 that define
success
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.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 assume the more they earn
money
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, the more successful they are ignoring all other
factors
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. There will be many
factors
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 to consider like
Add an article
the
a
show examples
peace of mind and enjoying the work we do.
For example
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, a
person
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 is working 12 hours a day without taking any breaks and focussing only on earning more
money
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,
then
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 he is definitely not a happy
person
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. There is no time for him to spend that
money
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 with their loved ones. He just piles up the
money
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 a thinks he is a successful
person
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 but in
reality
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,reality
show examples
 he is just a machine running for
money
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 without considering the small pleasures of life.
People
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 should always measure
success
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 by how happy they are with their family and society and how much they enjoy the work they do.
Secondly
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, another important factor for being successful is the
health
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 of the
person
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. Many
people
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 tend to keep on working without taking any breaks or any vacations,
this
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 leads to few severe
health
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 issues to
people
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.
For instance
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, according to a recent
survey
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,survey
show examples
 it is proved that
people
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 who don't take breaks may suffer from serious mental trauma and may go into depression.
Furthermore
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, these
health
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 issues may create an irreversible impact on the
person
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.
That is
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 why
people
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 should always take care of their
health
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 and make sure that they are eating proper food and keeping themselves safe and fit.
People
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 should often take a break for relaxation and spend time with their families. In conclusion, earning lots of
money
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 doesn't define
success
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. There will be a lot of other
factors
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 as mentioned in the essay.
People
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 should stop running behind
money
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 and understand what is
real
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the real
show examples
 meaning of
success
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.
Submitted by yojitha.kurupath on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • fulfillment
  • personal happiness
  • contributions to society
  • volunteering
  • activism
  • personal achievements
  • academic accomplishments
  • mastering a skill
  • indicators of success
  • independent of monetary wealth
  • financial stability
  • monetary wealth
  • emotional well-being
  • societal impact
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