Some people from poor and rural background from it difficult to get a university education.Universities have to make it easier especially for such groups to get into them.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #background #university #education #universities #groups

Presently, some economically less advantaged people are devoid of a proper

university

education

due to

their economic state.

Therefore

individuals

argue that

universities

should set equitable conditions for those who would like to attain a profound

education

coming from poor and rural backgrounds. It is my contention that granting full access for poor people to

universities

is a multifaceted phenomenon which can offer full flexibility for everyone to get accepted by some of the most prestigious

universities

in the world. First and foremost, it is well-documented that many of the world’s most celebrated and esteemed figures emerged from backgrounds marked by daily struggles.

This

is why I am convinced that providing educational opportunities to

individuals

with potentially groundbreaking ideas will justify all the efforts invested in

this

initiative. To cite an example, Oprah Winfrey is one of the most successful television personas in the world with a personal net worth of over 4 billion dollars who came from poverty. In the USA, she was given a chance to attend a

university

degree with a full scholarship in telecommunication and

consequently

, she has her own philanthropic services in order to provide

education

to the poverty-stricken communities.

Furthermore

, since some

university

admissions fees are exorbitantly high, many

individuals

are unable to afford them, effectively barring them from receiving a proper

education

However

, if

universities

were to lower these fees, it could lead to the discovery of many potential talents.

This

not only would enhance the institutions' potential and reputation but

also

might allow these talents to remain as teaching staff, thereby passing on their knowledge and experience to others like them.

On the other hand

while

it may seem entirely reasonable to offer free or discounted

education

to everyone facing financial hardships,

this

approach could

also

lead to exploitation of the existing educational system, thereby wasting limited resources.

For instance

, granting universal

university

access to all

individuals

who are financially disadvantaged or reside in rural areas might ultimately diminish the quality of

education

if some recipients lack a genuine interest in pursuing higher learning. In conclusion,

while

lowering barriers for

individuals

from challenging backgrounds to study in

universities

can enhance the sustainability of a country's

education

system, it

also

has the potential to lead to instances of exploitation.

Submitted by orkhanshamil on Sun May 19 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt well and provides a clear position on the topic. However, ensure each paragraph clearly supports and relates back to your main argument to make your stance even more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help maintain a logical flow throughout your essay.

task achievement

Provide more balanced arguments in both body paragraphs to avoid the appearance of bias. Make sure to consider counterarguments and rebuttals for a more nuanced essay.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.

task achievement

You have provided a relevant and strong example with Oprah Winfrey, which adds credibility and depth to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and reinforces your initial stance, providing a cohesive ending to your essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured, with clear paragraphs separating different points and ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

376 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social mobility
Underprivileged
Equal opportunities
Diversity
Financial constraints
Affirmative action
Scholarships
Grants
Admission standards
Non-profit organizations
Outreach programs
Meritocracy
Education gap
Rural areas
University admissions
Inclusivity
Socioeconomic barriers
Educational equity
Access to education
Disadvantaged

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Some people from poor and rural background from it difficult to get a university education.Universities have to make it easier especially for such groups to get into them.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

What skills are taught in school in comparison to what is needed in actual life.

Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

in many developing countries ,there is a problem with decline quality of air and water from both industry and construction .what measures could be taken to prevent this ?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.