IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. why do you think that is? what problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
Across many countries, A population that living in the countryside has been evacuating to the central city.
For instance
, In Thailand, The majority of fresh graduates who came from rural areas are more likely to find a job in the inner-city rather than deciding to move them back to its premises. There are several reasons to describe the current situation and in the near future. And
also
, consequent issue due to relocating.
To begin
 with Thailand relocating circumstance, nowadays, almost 70% in a number of the population who are living in the inner-city has come from countryside due to they had encountered with a difficult situation with the workplace. Especially the salary was not reasonable whether they attempted to working harder or not, the compensation still lower than the minimum wage.
However
, they chose to relocate to the central city so that they can find a proper job
that is
 located among the leading companies in the country.
Furthermore
, The companies are often provided appropriate welfare
such
 as travelling costs, housing costs, life insurance, and the crucial thing is an annual bonus.
On the other hand
, Increasing the population of urban areas will emerge a variety of
problems
,
for example
, Surging in crime will be deemed as the
first
 priority from all the
problems
. Even though some people in the town have got a job but someone has still unemployed which is approximately 30% of employment in the system.
Hence
, there will contribute to an increasing in crime in the town. Beginning with a minor problem
such
 as shoplifting, fraud, and
finally
 become to drug trafficking
that is
 a major problem. In conclusion, It is clear that residents moving to the towns can lead to a variety of
problems
, Government should determine a measure to regulate its evacuation,
likewise
 considered unemployed fundamental welfare to control consequence
problems
.
Submitted by sohavething on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: