Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spend on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects

Many people support that Physical Education classes should be included in school

subject

this

will improve

children

health.

In contrast

, some disagree with

this

statement because students have already gained a lot of responsibilities. In

this

writing essay, there is a discussion in both arguments and

also

the writer opinion.

To begin

,with, Physical

subject

is crucial to the curriculum and the student's life. According to recent studies,

children

tend to spend more time on electronic devices than do physical activities.

This

issue can lead to both mental and physical diseases,

such

as migraines and obesity.

Furthermore

, the activities in school, nowadays, are likely to stay indoor;

for instance

, experimenting in the laboratory.

Therefore

, including the

subject

is an effective method to improve student's health as

this

practice will provide time and space for

children

to explore and improve their physical movement.

On the other hand

, some people contradict

this

practice as it will provide the extension work and

children

should focus on academic subjects. It is really competitive for entering to acknowledgeable university or company;

therefore

, students have to put a strong effort into their academic duties. By increasing

subjects, will provide more responsibilities to the

children

. For those reasons, it is insignificant to include

subjects in the curriculum.

Moreover

, physical activities can be responsible for parents which they can practice at home. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages of including

subject

. In my point of view, it is significant to have

this

subject

at school as

this

will provide exercising time in order to release tension from academic tasks.

However

, the

subject

should not increase extra tasks for

children

Submitted by kongpopb1999 on Tue Sep 21 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spend on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

In many developing countries, there is a problem of declining quality of air and water. What are the causes for this and what measures could be taken to prevent this?

Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?