Some people say that music is good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music
is the only way where one can control their emotions. Some
people
believe that
music
unites
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
of various cultures, traditions and ages. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss why
music
plays an important role in building up relations irrespective of caste, culture, religion and age.
Firstly
,
music
does not have any language.
However
, it is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
art of expressing one’s emotions.
For instance
, if a person is depressed as he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some conflicts with others or he might have lost his loved one. The
first
thing which comes to his mind is listening to
music
.
Furthermore
, he never
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
of which language
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
songs he should listen to. He may only concentrate on the type of
emotion induced
Add a hyphen
emotion-induced
show examples
in the song, which can relieve him from his stress.
Secondly
,
music
is not created for particular ages.
People
are giving much importance to
music
in present days.
For instance
, there is a concert
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
famous
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
where all the
people
will attend despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their culture, age and tradition.
People
enjoy listening to the
singers
Change to a genitive case
singer's
singers'
show examples
soothing voice and start dancing.
Although
, there was no prior
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
between
people
all of them get together and start dancing.
This
is the greatness of
music
and the musicians who created it. Henceforth, I strongly agree that
music
is the only way where myriad
people
can enjoy and able to come out of negative circumstances.
Music
boosts up
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
in a positive way. It always
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
role in uniting
people
of different culture and age.
Submitted by nitin.chowdary4545 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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