Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #music #impact #effect

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Most individuals think that modern

music

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can have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact

Use synonyms

youngsters

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, while others think it provides

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

them. To my opinion, Modern

music

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only brings

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

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today's

show examples

youngsters

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, because, most

music

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has no social values and

causes

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ill-effects

Correct your spelling

ill effects

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to them and their

community

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People

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who believe that modern

music

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provides them positive

impact

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doesn'

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realize that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

music

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is rhythm, which should provide

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

message and peace of mind. Comparing to older

songs

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modern

songs

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have too

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

instrument noises, which is

also

Linking Words

in high pitch. Recent

songs

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has

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have

show examples

less

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fewer

show examples

words, most of the words are not clear in pronunciation,

therefore

Linking Words

it doesn'

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provide any value to the listeners.

People

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argue that the tunes present in the

music

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gives

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give

show examples

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

peace

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the peace

show examples

of mind while listening, which is a valid point, but, there are only

few

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a few

show examples

songs

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has

Correct pronoun usage

that has

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been released like

such

Linking Words

in recent times. Considering

these modern

Change the determiner

this modern music

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music

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can'

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provide any positive

impact

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Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

youngsters

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. When it comes to

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show examples

negative

impact

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, modern

music

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causes

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more bad effects to the young generations and

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show examples

their

community

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Recent

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In recent

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generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

people

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prefer to hear

songs

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using

headphone

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headphones

show examples

this

Linking Words

instrument makes noises closer to the ears. When

music

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has high pitch noise heard in

such

Linking Words

manner

causes

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ear failure, due to

this

Linking Words

people

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will become deaf sooner.

Todays

Correct your spelling

Today

show examples

music

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is causing more anger and rage in

youngsters

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, because, the high instrument noises

causes

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them to do more aggressive things.

This

Linking Words

kind of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

causes

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unnecessary problems to their surroundings and their

community

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therefore

Linking Words

modern

music

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only

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

society. In conclusion, Modern

music

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isn'

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like old

music

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which

provide

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provides

show examples

social

Correct article usage

a social

show examples

message and

pleasant

Add a missing verb

is pleasant

show examples

to hear. It only

causes

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ill-effects on

youngsters

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and

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

act aggressively while hearing them,

this

Linking Words

eventually

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

bad situations to them and make a bad impression

over

Change preposition

show examples

them in

this

Linking Words

community

Use synonyms

Submitted by suruthi25 on Tue Sep 21 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lifestyles and behaviours
glorify
distract
academic performance
self-expression
identity formation
source of inspiration
social and political messages
amplifying
accessible
influential
parental and educational guidance
critically analyze
responsible consumption
mitigate

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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree? Show ideas and vocabulary

Many musuems charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to musuems outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?