Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #music #impact #effect

Most individuals think that modern

music

can have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact

youngsters

, while others think it provides

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

them. To my opinion, Modern

music

only brings

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

youngsters

, because, most

music

has no social values and

causes

ill-effects

Correct your spelling

ill effects

show examples

to them and their

community

People

who believe that modern

music

provides them positive

impact

doesn'

realize that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

music

is rhythm, which should provide

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

message and peace of mind. Comparing to older

songs

modern

songs

have too

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

instrument noises, which is

also

in high pitch. Recent

songs

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

words, most of the words are not clear in pronunciation,

therefore

it doesn'

provide any value to the listeners.

People

argue that the tunes present in the

music

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

then

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

peace

Add an article

the peace

show examples

of mind while listening, which is a valid point, but, there are only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

songs

has

Correct pronoun usage

that has

show examples

been released like

such

in recent times. Considering

these modern

Change the determiner

this modern music

show examples

music

can'

provide any positive

impact

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

youngsters

. When it comes to

Change the article

show examples

negative

impact

, modern

music

causes

more bad effects to the young generations and

Change preposition

show examples

their

community

Recent

Change preposition

In recent

show examples

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

people

prefer to hear

songs

using

headphone

Fix the agreement mistake

headphones

show examples

this

instrument makes noises closer to the ears. When

music

has high pitch noise heard in

such

manner

causes

ear failure, due to

this

people

will become deaf sooner.

Todays

Correct your spelling

Today

show examples

music

is causing more anger and rage in

youngsters

, because, the high instrument noises

causes

them to do more aggressive things.

This

kind of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

causes

unnecessary problems to their surroundings and their

community

therefore

modern

music

only

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

this

society. In conclusion, Modern

music

isn'

like old

music

which

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

social

Correct article usage

a social

show examples

message and

pleasant

Add a missing verb

is pleasant

show examples

to hear. It only

causes

ill-effects on

youngsters

and

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

act aggressively while hearing them,

this

eventually

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

bad situations to them and make a bad impression

over

Change preposition

show examples

them in

this

community

Submitted by suruthi25 on Tue Sep 21 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

lifestyles and behaviours
glorify
distract
academic performance
self-expression
identity formation
source of inspiration
social and political messages
amplifying
accessible
influential
parental and educational guidance
critically analyze
responsible consumption
mitigate

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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Spoken communication is always more powerful than written communication. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

university students are increasingly study abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad out weigh the disadvantages.

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?