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Band 7.5

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
It is argued that
children
 should be motivated for a sense of
competition
, while others believe that cooperation is a more important value to establish in the young.
Although
competition
 helps to achieve success, I believe
competition
 teaches youngsters how to do teamwork, which is very helpful for their career. On the one hand, some believe that
competition
 is significant because youth are to be pushed to win in whether pursuit they take
part
 in.
In other words
, if a child wins in every field of education, he can achieve many better
work
 opportunities in life.
As a result
 young
children
 become more successful as compared to those students who don't take
part
 in the
competition
.
For example
, It has been shown in ‘ Times of India newspaper’ that
Children
 who participate in sports are more likely to do better in their lives than those who do not.
However
, I believe that corporation helps the student to
work
 in a
team
.
On the other hand
, working with others teaches pupils kindness, feeling of empathy and selflessness, which makes us more responsible toward others.
This
 means that
children
 who are taught cooperation will be better prepared for adult life because the ability to
work
 as
part
 of a
team
 is highly recommended in the workplace and in families.
For instance
, Micheal Jordan was usually criticized by his coworkers due to his competitive attitude and, he had to change his behaviour for the sake of his
team
.
Therefore
, I believe that teaching
children
 to
work
 as a
team
 is more important than giving them a sense of
competition
. In conclusion, while instilling a sense of
competition
 help
children
 to succeed, in my opinion, teaching cooperation gives them the ability to
work
 as a
part
 of a
team
, which is far more valuable later in life.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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