Some people say that government should pay for the health care and education but other people say that it is not the governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People hold distinct views on whether
governments
should bear the expense of citizens’ health care and education. Personally, I believe that governments
are supposed to stand a big part of the expenditure.
On the one hand, it is sometimes argued that governments
ought to be responsible for citizens’ medical and educational charges. As we all know, people nowadays are suffering from the excessively high cost of medical treatment. For example
, patients who are treated in ICU are required to pay around 10,000 CNY every day, which is unaffordable for most families in China. If governments
pay for the spending on health care, sick individuals who give up therapies for lack of money will have the likelihood of being cured. Meanwhile, children born in low-income families cannot bear the cost of education, which means they do not have opportunities to break their plights. However
, with financial help from governments
, these children will have access to education and resolve their difficulties.
On the other hand
, some people think that payment for the two items should not be included in the government’s responsibilities. In many countries, the payments for health care and schooling are considered as benefits to the full-time employees in companies. Enterprises are expected to take social responsibility by funding their personnel’s study and fitness. For instance
, staff working at a particular multi-country enterprise can take free medical check-ups and be totally funded to attend international schools. In fact, these benefits burden the finances of companies, frustrating their development and probably impacting their survival.
In conclusion, I think it is conducive for citizens if governments
pay the majority of residents’ expenditures on schooling and medical treatment, in consideration of the financial problem and humanity.Submitted by Tess
on
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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views and provides relevant examples, try to elaborate on the counterarguments to present a more balanced discussion. This will demonstrate a thorough understanding of both sides.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although your essay is well-organized, using more linking words and phrases can enhance the flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay. However, you can strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed, providing a more comprehensive closure.
task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the prompt, addressing both views objectively and providing relevant examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively use specific and relevant examples, such as the cost of ICU treatment and the educational opportunities for children from low-income families, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is clear, with separate paragraphs for each main point and a clear introduction and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite