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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
In recent years, the percentage of
crime
rate
 has been increased due to several
reasons
.
However
,
in
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apply
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the following paragraphs will
discussed
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discuss
show examples
 the causes and how to overcome these
reasons
 and find the most effective ways to reduce
this
rate
.
To begin
 with, it is commonly believed that using
drugs
 and narcotic substances will lead to
development
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the development
show examples
 and increase the
rate
 of
crime
 because
,
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 these people who used
drugs
 frequently or
addictive
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are addictive
show examples
 people
they
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apply
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are not truly conscious.
For example
, the addictive person may make lots of crimes to get extra money to be able to buy more
drugs
.
Although
, we live in an age when many of us are believe that the
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
 scene in lots of
movies
 will encourage and contribute
in
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to
show examples
 raising the criminal
rate
. The younger generation
start
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starts
show examples
 to imitate what they see in these
movies
.
Also
, they try to act like the actor and simulate these action scenes
on
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in
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 reality. Some scenarios of these
movies
 describe the culprit as a victim and give so many
reasons
 to gain
the
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apply
show examples
empathy from audiences.
As a result
, we need to find solutions to overcome
this
 increasing
of
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apply
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crime
rate
. One of these strategies
are
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is
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we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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need to control and prevent using
for
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of
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drugs
 and narcotics material to eliminate the main reason
of
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for
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 rising the
rate
 of
crime
.
In addition
, we should monitor what our children see and we need to make an effective discussion with them to illustrate and explain that , there is no excuse to do
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
. To conclude, after
analysis
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analysing
show examples
 both
reasons
 and some effective solutions to reduce the
rate
 of
crime
 we can say that we need to restrict and prohibit using of
drugs
 to reduce
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate
 and we should make an effective discussion with our children and monitor what they see in the
movies
.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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