Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #care #children #state’s #responsibility

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These days, abundant knowledge about medicine is able to be easily accessed via the internet, which many

parents

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take it to

initially

Linking Words

treat their

pupils

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, when getting sick, whereas, others argue that it is better to take children to see the person, who is an expert in a medical

care

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, a

doctor

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at hospitals. In

this

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essay, I will explore both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

viewpoints, which I strongly admit that taking

Remove the article

apply

show examples

medical

care

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by a

doctor

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should be encouraged due to accuracy for diagnosis, and the proper

care

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for particular cases. On the one hand, children

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are

show examples

considered as the heart of every

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parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

, who love and

care

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them the most, so

parent

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the parent

show examples

will search for the best things for their

pupils

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even in medical

care

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Moreover

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many

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much

show examples

useful information is available on the internet, which

parents

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can learn and treat the proper methods for providing

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apply

show examples

medical

care

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to their

pupils

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For example

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, my

parents

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searched for

the

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show examples

way to alleviate my headache on google, and buy

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apply

show examples

medicine from

drug

Correct article usage

a drug

show examples

store for me, which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was work

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worked

show examples

. Due to

this

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myriad

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a myriad

show examples

amount of budget for the hospital service was saved.

On the other hand

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many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

information associated with health

care

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is unreliable on the internet, which can be disastrous for someones who follow the wrong procedures.

Therefore

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, seeing the

doctor

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when your kids get

illness

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ill

show examples

is the best action because a

doctor

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the

Change the article

show examples

person who

have

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has

show examples

a medical background, and

experiences

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experience

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to heal numerous patients. For

this

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reason, your

pupils

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will be treated with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

precise treatment.

For example

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, my toothache was healed within 2 days by the medicine given by the

doctor

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, while a week before seeing the

doctor

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, my

parents

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had given me pills but it

wasn't work

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didn't work

show examples

Therefore

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, whenever your kids

gets

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get

show examples

sick,

parents

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should take them to

hospital

Add an article

the hospital

a hospital

show examples

immediately. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

parents

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are the person who

love

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loves

show examples

and

care

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their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

pupils

Use synonyms

the most, they should not medically treat their kids by themselves due to

prospect

Correct article usage

the prospect

show examples

of mistakes.

Furthermore

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, medical treatments for children should be implemented by

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show examples

expert, who

have

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has

show examples

a knowledge

Remove the article

knowledge

a piece of knowledge

show examples

and experience in curing.

Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on Wed Sep 22 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In most countries, despite the benefits of cycling, fewer and fewer people are using bicycles as a means of transportation Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All art needs to be beautiful in order to be valuable. If art is ugly, it is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?