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Band 4

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Other thinks that those who contribute to society like teachers and scientists are most successful. Discuss both side and give your opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #teachers #scientists #side
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Many individuals argue that those who have contributed significantly to society
such
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 as teachers or scientists are much success as compared to the affluent. In my opinion, those who try their better for doing something beneficial for society can be considered actual successful because they are selfless. On the one hand, there are several reasons behind the former belief.
First
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 and foremost, wealth allows individuals to enjoy their life to the fullest because wealthy people can afford each and every possession which can make their life easy and help to show their status.
Secondly
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, due to the materialistic era, every person needs to
money
Use synonyms
 deriving their desires . So, those
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 can fulfil their dreams a little bit easy as compared to those who are suffering from financial obstacles. On the flip side, no one can afford to satisfaction with
money
Use synonyms
.
However
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, those who use their time and knowledge for the development of the world ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have great peace of mind as well as actual happiness because they do all their efforts for humanity. Neatly, all rich people do not earn
money
Use synonyms
 by legal ways despite, sometimes they commit crimes to
getting
Change the verb form
get
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 more bank balances. Ultimately, wealth can not define the actual success of anybody. To sum up, not only successful is based on
money
Use synonyms
 , but
also
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 to be a successful need to loyalty and peace of mind
Submitted by grewalsandeepkaur606 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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