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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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It is a discussable concern that a lot of highly qualified
graduates
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 can’t get a
job
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 in some countries. There are innumerable and different reasons for every nation, particularly the developing countries
this
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 situation is still worse than the wealthy. I will explain the actual problems to face good
graduates
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 in my country.
Firstly
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, in Mongolia, the progress of the HR field is begun recently according to the world’s standards. It seems that there isn’t any efficient, usable and holistic human resource system that can interconnect between employees and employers.
Thus
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, now the real situation in looking for a
job
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 is that major
graduates
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 search for work through their relatives and friends. It is mean that if you haven’t a good network and relatives, you couldn’t get a
job
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 with a high salary and good prospects.
Secondly
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, universities in Mongolia don’t assist students in the
job
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-hunting process.
Graduates
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 have to find a suitable company or employee by themselves because
job
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 proposals are almost delivered to students before their graduation due to their universities don’t inform and propose them to employees.
Therefore
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, I think educational organizations should increase their role in
job
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 searching. It is a potential way to drop the number of unemployed highly graduated students. Another reason why educational organizations should play a more essential role in getting jobs is that it can help to start early the process of
job
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-searching. As early starting it, learners can expand
job
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 selections and they are able to find their dream work. To conclude, improvements in the HR sector are necessary to
graduates
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 who are looking for work and supports from colleges as well as universities are crucial for early starting
job
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-hunting processes.
Submitted by mgl2666 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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