IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, there is not enough respect for elderly people. What are the causes of this? Suggest some solutions.

#countries #respect #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, less respect is given to the old. The reasons and possible solutions, in my personal view, will be provided in
this
Linking Words
 essay. As far as I can see, the fading emotion connection among people is the most fundamental reason for the decreasing respect shown for the elderly.
This
Linking Words
 cooling link in the era of telecommunication naturally uncovers the other side of human beings, which seems more rational but actually more interest-driven under the burden of the social world. Based on the terrifying mindset, the elderly citizens, who are far more incompetent to create value, are easily considered nonsense. To be worse, diseases and weakness, which may bring noise, mess, and heavier burden for the younger persons in their mind, are pushing the senior into a situation with quarrels, apathy, and disregard.
Such
Linking Words
 a miserable condition will be faced by everyone when they get old, and the solutions for it should be properly figured out. Considering the basic phenomenon with estrange correlations, education should pay more attention to strengthening the bond in each family,
for example
Linking Words
, by reducing the load of homework and advocating more outdoor activities for family members.
Then
Linking Words
 citizens would deeply root the family bond since childhood. And from the burden perspective, our government should take actions to enhance the welfare of the retired group and increase the funds for elderly care so that the youngsters would be less likely to disgrace the senior due to
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 less valuable thinking. In conclusion, the cooling emotional bond of people is the most crisis cause of elderly disrespect. And more educational methods to strengthen family bonds and more official supports for the old group are potentially effective approaches.
Submitted by lymlin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: