Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

People’s

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

difference

Add an article

the difference

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between salaries among

sports

celebrities and other

professionals

will vary from

one

another. In my view, I would state that the difference in

pay

Add an article

the pay

show examples

scale for

sports

dignities and other

professionals

is unfair. On

one

side, being a person who

pursue

Change the verb form

pursues

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sports

as a career is not an easy job as there will be

lot

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a lot

show examples

of criticisms to face.

This

needs

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

level of dedication, hard work, and strong belief to reach the stage of success. When they win in a competition, the whole nation wins and celebrating it in the form of providing high pay and sponsorship to the

sports

professionals

. As they are the

one

who is responsible for the nation to take a step ahead of

competition

Add an article

the competition

show examples

. Since they are famed, receives very good pay and sponsorship from companies to market their brand.

On the other hand

, people from other

professions

are paid less when compared to

sports

celebrities. The

professions

like Teacher, Doctor, Scientist, Advocate, etc

Change the punctuation

show examples

are

also

essential for our society,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

their salary is low regardless of their consistent effort. Even

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

celebrities

are depend

Change the verb form

depend

show examples

one

of these

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

professionals

directly or indirectly. It is notable that, during

Covid-19

Correct article usage

the Covid-19

show examples

pandemic

Add a comma

,pandemic

show examples

we all relied on Scientists, Doctors and other

professionals

for our well being. We should provide our utmost respect and we should celebrate those

professions

In contrast

, people are running behind the

sports

dignities. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

every profession is essential and plays

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

role in well being of our society. The variations in salaries among different

professions

Change the verb form

are

show examples

unfair.

Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on Thu Sep 23 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Teamwork offers a lot of benefits in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What precautions can people take to reduce the spread of food-borne illnesses?

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?