Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The vast majority of workmen encounter the dilemmas of whether to stay at the same companies for the entire time or frequently change to others. There are various factors that must be taken into consideration before one decides to change their career.
Although
, remaining at the same
company
provide promotion and a thorough understanding of the job's tasks, changing workplace trends to have more advantages. 
Individual
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Individuals

It seems that Individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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who work for the same
company
able
Add a missing verb
are able

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to gain profound knowledge about all the processes and become familiar with
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff

It seems that staffs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
Relationships

It seems that relationship may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are formed between co-workers. get promoted to
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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higher position.
For instance
, my friend’s father has been working for the advertising agency, Dentsu Thailand, for almost
over
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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40 years. He got promoted from an ordinary accountant to the chief financial officer, where ten branches worldwide of
company
Add an article
the company
a company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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are under his responsibility. Change environment. Know yourself, find new
competences
Correct your spelling
competencies

The word competences doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.Gain
broad
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a broad

The noun phrase broad range seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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range of experiences. Learn how each organization manage. Meet lots of people with different backgrounds and talents. Despite the fact that working with the same
company
provides familiarity and
Submitted by methamongsri on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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