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Band 5

in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop DO you agree or disagree

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop
Nowadays, the blooming of shopping malls in many big cities is becoming more and more popular. Some arguments say that entertainment will become the main reason for people to go shopping malls not to shop.
This
 essay aims to disagree with the above notice and explain why shopping mall is for both
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
 and shopping purposes. First of all, it is undeniable that the huge investment of many
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
 companies spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the shopping centre is increasing recently. The main reason is that
this
 place attracts a huge number of local people
as well as
 tourists for shopping not only local products but
also
 global ones. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, it is no surprise when the
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
 business or well-known restaurants invest to open new branches in these places. It not only helps customers to enjoy their
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
 time but it is
also
 beneficial for them to experiment with the multiple platforms of leisure activities without moving to another place.
However
, the main direction of the shopping centre is for shopping purposes, entertaining is just an added purpose for customers to enjoy it.
For example
, if their main reason is for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
, they can go to the amusement park or
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
 plaza because of the full services
as well as
 more facilities for them. Because of that, shopping purpose is irreplaceable in the shopping centre. In conclusion, there are a thousand activities, which people can do in the shopping mall.
However
, shopping is the main one that they want to go
shopping
Change preposition
to shopping
show examples
plaza
Fix the agreement mistake
plazas
show examples
 to purchase a wide range of products and it is irreversible.
Submitted by duyanhoppa1706 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly responds to the prompt and fully addresses all aspects of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good overall progression and logical structure. Ensure that paragraphs are well-connected and ideas are coherently presented throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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