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The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.
#graphs #show #music #albums #people #britain #sex #age
The graph illustrates the varieties of
music
albums
 (
Pop
,
Rock
, Classical)
buying
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
 by the public of Britain with respect to men, women and different
age
 groups ranging from 16 to above 45 years.
Overall
 the youth crowd between 25 to 34 is more inclined towards
Pop
 and
Rock
music
whereas
 people above 45 years
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to be more
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 Classical
music
.
However
, the percentage of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 buying
music
 is more than that of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female in all different types. It is seen that the public buying
Pop
 and
Rock
music
 in the
age
group
 16-24 is 30%
whereas
 the same
age
group
 has bought the lowest of Classical
albums
 with less than 5%. The Sales of
Pop
 and
Rock
albums
 for men
lies
Correct subject-verb agreement
lie
show examples
 between 20 to 30% and between 10 to 20% for Women. It seems that Classical
Music
 has the majority of the public in the 45+
age
group
 with 15 to 20%
albums
Change preposition
of albums
show examples
 sold and the
age
group
 between 35-40 consists of around 25 to 30% for
Rock
 and
pop
 respectively.public between 25-34 are more interested in
Pop
 and
Rock
music
albums
 with more than 30% of
albums
 purchased
Submitted by ahuja1221 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, albums, pop, rock, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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