Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

There has been a significant divergence of opinion revolving around whether affluent

people

society

contributors like scientists and teachers represent

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

success. From my point of view,

people

who play a pivotal role in

society

are recognised as successful.

First

and foremost, in terms of affluent

people

refer to those with monetary power that

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

them to enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life to the fullest. To be specific, these

people

have

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

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to make choices where money is a deciding factor.

For instance

, they could opt for whatever means of transportation when travelling, their children have more choices regarding educational institutions.

Moreover

people

in high

society

are less likely to be affected by the economic crisis. Due to the fact that they have financial security, which supports them to overcome

hash

Add an article

the hash

show examples

condition, wealthy

people

become richer and more successful

as a result

However

, social contributors are

also

deemed as charismatic figures.

Although

they are not the wealthiest

people

, they have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

public influence on others. It can be exemplified by the fact that scientists and teachers are prestigious occupations in many countries. It is apparent that they have acquired a reputation in their field of interest and contribute knowledge to social development. To specify, scientists dedicate their time and effort

Change preposition

show examples

the laboratory and come up with solutions for various problems, thereby assisting

people

’s lives. Teachers have a direct impact on students’ mindset,

as a result

, they receive

respectation

Correct your spelling

expectation

and recognition from

society

as well. To sum up,

although

people

who earn a decent amount of money are those who succeed in finance, I strongly believe that social contributors deserve to be coined as successful because they offer a powerful impact on other

people

Submitted by thanh.jenny on Fri Sep 24 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What do governments do to address these problems? What can individuals do?

Young peiple are often influenced in theri behaviours and situations by others in the same age this is called peer pressure do the disadvantages outwight the advantages

Homeschooling is becoming increasingly popular as more and more parents are choosing to educate their children in this way. why do you think parents might chose homeschooling rather than traditional schools. Do you think homeschooling is more beneficial?