IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

#tradition #meals #impacts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Across the globe,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 families are having their meals together owing to busy schedules and different priorities of
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays.
This
Linking Words
 is resulting in family members being detached from one another and eroding the sense of community of individuals. These days,
people
Use synonyms
 are not sitting down to eat together due to
hectic
Correct article usage
the hectic
show examples
 schedules of most of the family members. The
people
Use synonyms
 are busier than ever often with clashing schedules, whether it is demanding work appointments or multiple class assignments and they simply do not have the time to have a meal together.
Additionally
Linking Words
, with the popularity of social media
people
Use synonyms
 simply do not make mealtimes together a priority; they would much rather de-stress from a tiring day in front of the TV. Not sharing meals together will have harmful impacts on families and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 on the whole.
Meal time
Correct your spelling
Mealtime
show examples
 is an important part of the day during which all the daily requirements are put on hold and the relatives can simply talk to each other. In fact, parents will get informed of any troubles their children are going through or even notice any signs that something is bothering them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 being unable to bond during mealtimes will result in a somewhat defragmented
society
Use synonyms
 as well. The
people
Use synonyms
 will have no sense of community and will isolate themselves from their loved ones and from
society
Use synonyms
 as well. In conclusion, gathering at the dining table brings
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 together not only for meals but
also
Linking Words
 as a way of keeping in touch with each other.
This
Linking Words
 tradition has been fading away because most
people
Use synonyms
 have busy lives and they simply don’t make
this
Linking Words
 a priority.
This
Linking Words
 has led to
people
Use synonyms
 being detached from their families and from
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.
Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: